Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Tibetan class No. 7 and statement of intentions

I’m at the "beginner’s paradise" stage, in which I feel I’m learning something with every external stimulus. This phase doesn’t last – next comes a phase of stagnation and the feeling of being bogged down in a routine; learning nothing new. However, experience tells me that neither stage is totally real. Better just to get on with it without considering/worrying (or fantasising) about processes or goals.
I announced my intention to become a wanderer/vagabond to Wifey and Little One. "The Ladies" were not keen and did express some resistance. But I’ll give it a few years yet – see Little One through her childhood (my own life and death permitting – death rarely comes into a person’s plans unless they know their number’s up). Then it will be up and on my/our way. Wifey and Little One are invited of course. In the meantime, I’ll carry on learning Tibetan.

Statement of intentions

I’m reactive. I don't take initiatives; I react to situations.
Yesterday Wifey went to Vic to finish recording some songs in a studio. This project has been on the go for a long time now. Moonwise, perhaps it started even before I met Wifey. I was asked to contribute too but Ramón (el mamón), control freak extraordinaire and writer and producer of most of the songs, would be telling me what to do all the time - in front of Wifey. I couldn't stand two of them at it. It would mean a potentially humilatating experience for me as a tag-along-er, which I don't want to be. So I declined.
Pride, envy?

Quite natural.
I therefore reactively wondered why I don’t do my own songs. I have had a lot of songs (thirty or so) knocking around in my head and on my fingers for a long time now. Low self-esteem, hedging and paying more attention to others than to myself (envy) have stopped me in the past.
So therefore............
I, Bob, before the (possible) reader/s hereof, hereby state my intention to write, record, perform and/or distribute the tunes/songs that, for a number of years, have been using up valuable RAM in my head, which could otherwise be put to different non-hedging purposes.
Bob, Tuesday 15 November 2005.

2 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

Once you've written them down, does that space in the brain become available for other things? Hope so. My blog may have some purpose now...

I do trust you will advertise your CD here when it comes out (with a discount for regular readers, naturally).

12:06 pm  
Blogger Bob said...

Dave,
Thanks for being a witness to my declaration.

The CD will come out (of a computer in my recording studio(/ cum room for hanging up washing when it rains) when I've written the words (I already have the music) and worked out where to out the cables.

"without considering/worrying (or fantasising) about processes or goals" means not sabotaging the project with thoughts about advertising, royalties or any other delusions of grandeur.

"We'll just tackle this thing one little baby step at a time" as Shrek wisely said.

Performing songs (unless they go "baby I love you", which could be quite valid but not my cup of tea) and reading poetry publicly involve revealing oneself (figuratively), which is why I hedge so much.

When (can't say "if" now) I've finished, I'll give/send copies to anyone who has known about my lttle project.

12:48 pm  

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