Yesterday evening, after a hard day’s ruminating in the office during which I had convinced myself I didn’t exist, I fell off my bike in heavy traffic in the rush hour.

Cars' engines were revving at the traffic lights, their drivers eager to get through the subsequent lights before they turned red. The lights changed to green, I stepped up out of the saddle to make a quick getaway. As I changed down into 23rd gear, the chain came off and my face hit the tarmac.

"Ouch! I am for real!" I cried.

However, the car behind did try and put an end to my existence lark. Its driver had left a sensible few millimetres between me and his vehicle. Fortunately he only drove into me and not over me and somehow I came out unscathed, except for the swelling on my wrist.

Bloody cyclists!